Celebrating my genesis: my Maa

By Avijit Banik

Today, as I observe the rituals of fortnight in the memory and peace of my mother's departed soul, I look back and realize what a blissful association I had with her. My Maa was a dignified housewife firmly holding her fort in a joint family in a small town called Bongaon (around 80 km away from Kolkata), to protect us from all the odds through our childhood when my Dad had to stay away for running the business in Kolkata. I was born in that town 38 years back, but even today, whenever I close my eyes, I go back to my childhood as if I lived them yesterday! All those special times spent with my Maa are breezing through my mind afresh today. Worth mentioning, my grandfather with his five more brothers and their family members migrated from the then East Bengal (now Bangladesh) to West Bengal at the time of partition. My Dad was born in India, post-independence. Maa was born in Kolkata and I remember she told me once that she was only 19, running around in a frock, when my grandfather went to see her for the first time and finalized the nuptial knot with my Dad at 25. My elder brother was born a year after their marriage, and then I arrived, 5 years later. My childhood was like a vibrant carnival happened to be celebrated in any village those days.

 

Maa with her son and grandson, three decades apart

I was an average child, who was not so intelligent but studious enough to make a mark in his kindergarten classes. I was grandly amazed to see my grandfather throwing a treat to all the kids from our extended family to celebrate my top rank out of five students in KG-1. I never witnessed such a celebration before, neither later. Meanwhile, my KG-2 marks card came and I topped again. Though out of 5, it was the same in KG-3 as well. That was a momentous achievement looking though the glasses of a business-oriented family where 70 odd people living together in a border town close to Bangladesh and many didn’t cross the barrier of high school in past. I too started feeling that I am a special one. May be, Maa envisioned too that, if groomed well, this ordinary boy from a rural town could be an extraordinary one! Amidst the busy schedule of her household chores and elaborate cooking duties, she was always after me to check if I am preparing well in my studies. Those memories are still fresh in my mind when Maa gladly became my alarm clock to wake me up early in the mornings so I could brush though my syllabus one last time before heading toward my exam hall. I used to be an early riser as evenings were mostly drowsy after toiling hard in the playground every afternoon. My school used to start at 11 in the morning and Maa used to give me a plate full of hot rice before my School van (a handheld cart covered by tin converting it to a makeshift school van) honking at our doorstep every day. I almost swiped through that plate of rice and piping hot curry before grabbing my backpack and sprinting towards the van with a fear, it might leave for the school without me. She used to put 2 biscuits in my lunchbox while hurriedly maneuvering in middle of the kitchen with hot curry boiling on the earthen oven. I felt, 2 biscuits were too little, but never dared to demand for any fancy foods, neither I complained. May be, I was considerate seeing her sweating in the kitchen from the morning to make early lunch for the elders.

Me and my elder brother with Maa on a random childhood afternoon

Fast forward, I moved into our town high school and competition was tougher this time. There were 60 odd kids in the class and I started feeling the pressure of being tagged as a special child in my family. Nonetheless, I was progressing well and broke into the top 10 in my 8th Standard. I still can feel the pride and happiness in her eyes when Maa took me to the Market and bought me a football jersey and shorts of my choice. That was the very first time I got something from her as a reward for doing well in my studies. Otherwise, she was mostly known as a strict mom who would spank her kids if any complains came her way from the neighbors. I was a smart one, making sure, most of these complains do not reach her but also navigated through the crises if sometimes someone complained to her. Although, I had to take some serious bashing at few occasions when things didn’t go my way. I was 9, when one evening, one of my uncles caught me red handed smoking a bidi (deshi version of cigarette) with one of my cousins, while Maa was away to the market. I fear to imagine, what could have happened to me if this piece of information reached to her ever! I somehow pleaded and persuaded my uncle not to open his mouth in front of Maa so I could survive in a singe piece. Then the board exam arrived. It was a big thing for me as well as for my family. As if this marks card will determine my fate who I would become in future! She was instrumental and almost shadowed with me during those stressful exam days and I came up with a handsome score in the board. My fate was determined to launch big; I moved to the big town, Kolkata, for my intermediate studies. Obviously Maa was my companion. She dreamt big and took me on her wings. She realized this was the best opportunity for both of us - me getting into one of the historical institutes in Kolkata (Scottish Church College) and her chance of staying with Dad after so long. It was a fairy tale. Though my elder brother would still feel the pain for leaving him behind in the town to complete his graduation but he didn’t rebel for that. After all, Maa also deserved to have a better life after those many years of living without my Dad who occasionally came to visit us. Nothing to complain, the business need was such that Dad had to stay away for long. Moving to Kolkata, Maa, Dad and me, three of us lived in a 100 sq. ft. rented room, when I started witnessing the big changes in my life. A small town boy was exposed to the streets of Kolkata, with new friends and entertainments around, but sitting blankly in the college classrooms as the Professors were commanding in English. I couldn't make anything out of those classes and eventually bunked them to hang around with my friends at Indian Coffee House, the famous joint situated at College Street. Life filled with excitements, but didn't run as a fairy tale for long. I was somewhat lost in the flow of these new happenings, before realizing the 12th exams were on top of my head. As destined, this time I struggled and merely crossed first division in the board.

On a mother's day; on my journey to the marriage; on a trip to Mysore

Life took turns from here. After a year of unsuccessful attempts in the medical entrances, Dad decided to send me to Bangalore, two thousand kilometers away from home, for my graduation. Year 2000, I was leaving home for the first time in my life. I never stayed away from her before. Since then my journey was into the whirlwind taking this little boy to Atlanta via Bongaon-Kolkata-Bangalore-Chandigarh-Singapore. In between life gave me a chance to do my Ph.D. in the subject of my interest and a lovely wife and son to make the circle complete. For the past 21 years, as I am living away from my home except occasionally visiting her, Maa never felt I am going away. It was always temporary to her and she relentlessly waited for her son to be back. I too, never pricked that bubble of imagination and asserted her that I will be back soon. Now, when she departed, what hurts me the most that she could not see me for one last time before saying the final good bye. She left with that assumption that her younger son will be back soon. Today, when I remember her, I vow not to mourn that she will never come back. Rather, I wish to proudly remember her dedication and hard work in my upbringing. I wish to celebrate my genesis. I promise you, Maa, one day this ordinary small town boy will make it extraordinary and you will certainly smile from there looking at me.